Birthday blues [?]

I had my birthday a month ago in February.  Oh man, I'm so old ):  I don't know about you, but I always dread the day my birthday approaches.  It's not a vain thing, where I worry about getting older and getting more wrinkles etc.  How do I explain it without sounding like a lunatic?  I'll try anyways.

Pitiful, depressed, hopeless, are among the emotions I feel. Perhaps, because I'm afraid to find out if anyone (or no one) at all remembers.  And yet, I feel like I shouldn't feel that way at all, because it's being self-centered, which I don't like.  It's not the gifts or parties that I look for, but the affirmation that the people I call "friends" are really my friends.  Just a simple greeting, whether in person, by phone/text, e-mail - doesn't matter the form, really- of acknowledging the day that's supposed to be special.  Does anyone else feel that way, or am I just being weird?