Birthday blues [?]

I had my birthday a month ago in February.  Oh man, I'm so old ):  I don't know about you, but I always dread the day my birthday approaches.  It's not a vain thing, where I worry about getting older and getting more wrinkles etc.  How do I explain it without sounding like a lunatic?  I'll try anyways.

Pitiful, depressed, hopeless, are among the emotions I feel. Perhaps, because I'm afraid to find out if anyone (or no one) at all remembers.  And yet, I feel like I shouldn't feel that way at all, because it's being self-centered, which I don't like.  It's not the gifts or parties that I look for, but the affirmation that the people I call "friends" are really my friends.  Just a simple greeting, whether in person, by phone/text, e-mail - doesn't matter the form, really- of acknowledging the day that's supposed to be special.  Does anyone else feel that way, or am I just being weird?


Thankfully, I am blessed by loving people, and I haven't the experience of going through a birthday with nobody greeting me.  In fact, this year, an old high school friend of mine, whom I haven't seen contacted in years, decided to throw a birthday lunch together for me.  It was nice catching up with everyone.  We even tried a fancy pastry place on Alberni St called Thierry.  It's not a birthday without cake, apparently! I got to try the Chocolate succé, which is a hazelnut meringue & chocolate mousse covered in hard dark chocolate ganache, and topped with a dainty silver sliver. The other one I tried was the Chocolate Trio, which is a cake with white, milk and dark chocolate.  . 

I dunno how I ended up reviewing a dessert place, but I love my dessert (:  Segway back to the birthday thing.  Ya, I dunno. I hope that next year I'd be able to stay positive.  I suppose that counts as a New Year's resolution?


P.S.  My bf is unbelievable.  After a 4-hour shift at work (not that long, I know) and 1.5 hours of English tutoring, I was dead tired and dreaded the commute back home for my 8:30pm dinner.  But once I stepped out of the tutoring place, I saw his silhouette holding an umbrella, walking towards me.  I had to squint for 6 more seconds before realizing it was him.  I didn't even tell him that I was tutoring today, so it was a surprise indeed!  He even brought his car, so I got a ride home.  <3